31 October 2011 ~ 1 Comment

Its long but Please read. Relationship advice. “Its Complicated.”?


Question by Kabir: Its long but Please read. Relationship advice. “Its Complicated.”?
Me and my girlfriend are together for the past 3 years. She was married before and have a kid. When i met her three years back she was really hurt from her bad marriage. Her ex husband did everything to trouble her, insulted her during divorce and left her with nothing. After that she didn’t believed in relationships anymore. She went into relationships after that but didn’t worked out. When we met it was different, we fell in love at first sight coz of our same culture, backgrounds and many other similar things. Her ex husband always interfered. Sometimes coz of the legal stuff they both were going through or sometimes he use to say somethings to his child so when she comes to her mother’s house she should speak against me coz of her Dad. The child custody is shared between them. She was so broken from inside that she told me what her ex husband did to her when they were married. I had one thing in my mind that i will never use her or i will never cheat on her and i will never give up on her. I was very good to her child. But after sometime slowly problems started coz of her insecurities. We both been through many ups and downs in our relationship but still stayed together. Our families were against each other but still stayed together. Recently when the things started to become a little worse between us she started to involve her ex in between us and after we got back togther she told me that she did in the heat of the moment. That was the first time in past three years she involved her ex husband. Actually at that time she was about to pick up her daughter and we had a fight on the phone in which i really said bad stuff to her and as she don’t have any good friend she told him at the same. I understood when she told me about it. But recently few days back we had an argument again and i lied to her in the spur of the moment about her ex husband. I said last time when we had a fight i went to see your ex husband just to clear my doubts and he really said mean stuff to me about you. I was immature coz i made that stuff up coz that thing really bothered me that why would she involve her ex after what he did to her. So after listening to it she told me to confront her ex husband coz she really wanted to know the truth. I told her if i confront him then the problem can get worse and we might end up getting into fight. That is exactly what happened when i confronted him we ended up in the fight and the worst thing hurted me was when she told me liar infront him and told me not to call her anymore. I really love her and will always love her but i don’t know now what to do. I know her ex husband since i met her and i know how he is playing all this game between us coz he was never happy that his ex wife is in love with someone else and as he was already staying with his girlfriend. I really tried to explain all this to my girlfriend but sometimes she should agree and understands whats going on but sometimes when had an argument she should disagree. But this time when all this thing happened we really had an bad argument before that day in which i really said some bad stuff to her. I don’t understood one thing that when ever she use to say something bad i always accepted her back and never involved anyone but whenever i said something bad she took against me, i always said sorry no matter who’s fault was first. I have no idea now. I really love her with ally my heart and i know i lied which was not good.There is not even a second goes by when i don’t think about her. I really wanted to work this relationship out but have no idea what to do. I tried my best from the starting not to be like her ex husband but ended up being like him. All i did was lied but never cheated on her. She did told me once that a year back when we broke up she went out with someone else to get over me but came back to me coz she loved me. That was really very hurtful when she blamed me in front of her ex husband. I am really embarrassed and ashamed of myself. But i really love her with all my heart and i pray that she should gave a one more chance to our relationship. Sometimes i think whats behind her involvement of her ex husband. Please advice what should i do. I really love her and my heart says she loves me too but she is hurt. I pray every time that we both should get back together again. Sometimes it fears me when i think that what is she thinking about involving her ex husband. Please advice. Do you guys really think that we will be back together. Really wanted our relationship to work out. Its been a week now since we last had that incident and i havnt contacted her since then. I don’t know she still thinks about me or not? She still loves me or waiting for me or not. Do you guys think that we will be back together.
I told one of my friend to call her. My friend cald her and she said ” I have his number and if I want I ll calll him. She said I gave him many chances and He still lied. She told my friend,” I am over him and I don’t want to be with him anymore. Before when we had fight she always said that. I really luv her and I hope she give one chance to our relationship. I will never lie to her again. I luv her. Now I dnt knw what to do. It’s been 2 weeks now since we talked. I tried calling her today and when i cald she hung up on me when she heard my voice. My heart says that she still loves me and i love her too. It’s been 2 weeks now and I really need to tell her the truth why I lied. I tried calling her but when she heard my voice she hungs up the phone on me. I don’t know if she will listen to my message or not. She still loves me or not. She still thinks about me or not. I left her texts, voicemails saying that i am sorry and i luv u and will wait for you.

Best answer:

Answer by Katherina
Give it a 6 month break

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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One Response to “Its long but Please read. Relationship advice. “Its Complicated.”?”

  1. RasTaofarI 31 October 2011 at 4:38 AM Permalink

    She chose a man to marry. She couldn’t make it work with him after she vowed “till death do us part”. She couldn’t make it work with him after she had his kid. This is a woman who can NOT sustain a relationship. It wasn’t just the ex-husband. It was her too. Don’t you become the second guy for her to complain about to the third guy.


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